Because I Love You
by SwanQueen101
Summary: Emma doesn't know what to do. Talking with Dr. Hopper seemed to help her sort out all that's been happening to her... especially loving someone that hates her with everything she's got. She get's an idea of how to apologize to Regina that ends up backfiring and humiliating her. She just wants one shot to make Regina happy. One-shot SwanQueen


**A/N: Okay guys. I hear some of you want a date one-shot that continues from the last one-shot, and I'm working on it. I just had this idea and I had to write it, so I did haha. Hope you all like it! Review! Warning: language... sorta bad. Bad compared to my other stories.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT!**

"I've been trying to figure out how to tell Regina that I'm sorry. It's not as easy as it seems after everything that's gone down. I have a lot to apologize for, but, in my defense, so does she. First, I blamed her for your death that never really happened. The things I said to her that night I regret deeply. But, for anyone to understand, you have to see it from my point of view. Sure, it was a total dick move, but I felt… I felt so betrayed. I didn't –and still don't– understand magic, and it confused me to see the dog's memories. I was being selfish because, as much as I hate even thinking about it, I have been having some… strange feelings… about a certain Madame Mayor that make my stomach screw up and twist in uncomfortable, but not unpleasant, ways. It confuses me beyond anything I've ever known.

What really freaked me out was when I was saving Regina from the wraith. And it got me thinking again because of what Gold recently said, that magic doesn't come from the mind, but the heart. More or less. It comes from within you. And, when Regina couldn't get that damn hat to start spinning, I admittedly was terrified for her. The only thing I could think about was what would happen if that thing actually got to Regina. And, right before I touched her arm, I remembering thinking –no, promising– that I would do anything to protect her. Because it's what Henry wanted of course.

But then, Cora was reaching into my heart, and I know from the look on her face she could see everything I felt. And that scared me because I'd figured out that I missed Regina while I was gone. And when I said that love was strength, I have to be honest and say I wasn't thinking about Mary Margaret or David. I was thinking about Henry and Regina, and I know that's a terrible thing to think, but I just couldn't get them out of my mind. In a weird sorta way, I thought of us three as a family. I utterly fucked up family, but we were a family. And then I had to go and screw her over again with you're death and all that shit. I don't even know what came over me. I mean, she used magic on me, so I guess I can be mad, but I provoked her when I shouldn't have. It's my fault, and I feel miserable for it. I told her that she'd always be evil. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that she'd never be able to change. I can see her changing right now. No, I don't know her whole story, and I think that it'd be interesting to hear it because I really do want to know what got her to be like she is right now, but I only want to hear it if she'll tell me.

I know I've royally fucked up, no pun intended. But really, I don't feel like there's anything I can do to make it better. I mean, she probably hates me; my mother tricked her into killing her own mother. I love Mary Margaret, but even I didn't think she'd stoop that low. And then I went after Regina because I thought she was going to cast some love curse on our son. I… I still can't believe that she thinks that Henry doesn't love her. I mean, I guess I can see where she gets it, especially now that Neal's back. The first time I actually leave him _truly_ alone with my son in Storybrooke, he manages to lose him. He can be a real idiot sometimes. And I guess, how I feel when Henry tells me that I lied to him, and he ducks away from my hugs or touches, that's how Regina feels. And, if I'm going to do one thing right anytime soon, I'm going to talk to him about setting up a schedule with Regina so he can spend more time with her. She needs him just as much as he needs her. And I'm going to inform Neal, not ask him. He's barely been in his life at all recently. He doesn't really get a choice.

Not to mention when I heard that Neal was engaged, it didn't seem to hurt as much as I think it probably should have. I know I keep bringing up Regina, but what hurts more is the look on her face when she knew I didn't believe her. God, I'm never going to get over that. I was so fucking stupid! I mean, I really should have just gone with my gut! I don't know why I've been second-guessing myself so much recently, but I have and it's really getting old. I need to just go with my instincts, though my instincts didn't do very well against Cora's magic. I think that's what's throwing me for such a loop. I mean, there's fucking magic all of a sudden, and I really have no clue how to handle that! It may have happened a while ago, but I never really got the time to wrap my head around it. My parents are Snow White and Prince Charming. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?! I get that they gave me my best shot, but it really wasn't my best shot. It was a shitty shot, and I don't really know how to handle that either. I was just introduced to a land where fairytales are real, and my best friend's are princesses, my parents are, as I said, Snow White and Prince Charming, the person I love is the Evil Queen, and I'm supposed to save everyone because I'm the Savior-slash-White Knight. And I'm in freaking love with the person I'm supposed to kill to "save everyone". I can't do that, Doc! How the fuck am I supposed to kill the one person that is so much like me, yet I've screwed over too many times to count, not to mention that I _love her_. I mean, I've never… I've never felt anything like I've felt with her. Ever. And I'm not saying I haven't loved before, because that'd be a lie. I mean, I loved Neal, but it's different with her. I loved Neal with everything I had; yet I couldn't make my heart speed up when he walked into a room. And Regina… I mean, she just stops it dead in it's tracks. I don't even have to be near her or even looking at her to know that she's walked into the room. I just… know. And she manages to get right under my skin in the best of ways that I used to find irritating, and now I only hate it because it makes me say things that I truly don't mean.

And when I touched her arm with the hat and trying to get it to work, the spark that I felt shook me to my core. I've never felt so… vulnerable. But I just have this overwhelming need to know more about her. And protect her. And have her love me. Or just even want to be in the same room with me. If she would just glance at me with something other than disgust I'd be ecstatic. But I fucked it all up. Again. And now I don't know what to do.

Not to mention the new "member of the family." You heard the news. Mary Margaret's pregnant again, and I really don't know how to feel about that. They did this celebration thing, and when they started talking, I got this utterly hopeless feeling of being left behind all over again. But I kept smiling because that's what a good daughter does. But I don't really know what to do. I guess I just keep pretending that I'm okay with everything that's been happening, but I feel like I'm going to break down any day now and just explode!" I've always talked with my hands, and this is no different. Dr. Hopper is looking at me, just looking. Like he's trying to decide if he should cut in yet. "You can talk if you want." I say with a small smile.

"Well, Emma, that certainly is a lot to process. I understand your feelings for Regina-"

"I love her." I cut him off, looking deep into his eyes. I let him see how tortured I am about this.

"Yes, I'm well aware." He gives a small chuckle, and I give a nervous laugh. "My advice for her would be start with an apology. Don't give up if she snaps at you at first. She's probably angry with you because of everything that's gone down, but don't let that get to you. She's good at holding grudges, but I know that she's changing, and that might include forgiving you a little bit. As for the pregnancy, I'm here to talk whenever you want about that, as well as everything else, and my advice to you is to talk to a friend about it. Maybe even Regina if you feel that you can trust her and her you. I know that it's an insecurity of yours, being left behind and being unloved or unwanted. You might even consider talking to your parents about it if you feel like it." I shake my head.

"No, I can't do that. Then they'll get all mushy with me and want to baby me. I don't need that, I just don't want," I sigh, trying to gather my thoughts, "I just don't want people talking about how this is gonna be there chance to raise there own child and be able to love that child so much. I know it's selfish, but I just got them back. Can't we be content with being the three of us for now? I don't know… Jesus, I'm jealous over my unborn brother or sister. How childish is that?" I let out a humorless laugh. Archie gives me a sympathetic look that makes me a bit sick.

"Alright, then I'd focus on one thing at a time. Does anyone else know about your feelings for Regina?" I'm grateful for the topic change.

"Well, no, but Henry will be the first to know if nobody figures it out beforehand. I'll probably tell him when I tell him that he's gonna be spending more time with her. I think he might take it well, but he could also take it terribly, so I guess we just have to see." I start to fidget nervously in my seat across from Archie. I really don't want Henry to close off to me any more that he already has, but he needs to know.

"Alright, that sounds like a good plan. I have another client coming in soon, but you can just call me if you ever want to talk again. As for now, I have to get ready for my next client. Thank you so much for coming in and sharing with me." He gives me a sincere smile, and I give him one right back.

"Thanks for listening to my useless rambles. Sometimes I just gotta say stuff out loud to figure out what I'm gonna say or how I'm gonna figure something out." I reach for the doorknob, still looking over my shoulder.

"Emma, it was my pleasure. Come back any time." I smile at him again, and open to door to see the person subject to most of my ramblings.

"Uh, Regina. H-how are you?" I try to smile at her, but her cold expression makes me look away. "Thanks again Dr. Hopper." I mutter, slipping past the glaring, beautiful woman. "See you later Regina." She just huffs at me before slamming the door to Archie's office. I flinch at the loud crash. "All right then." I roll my eyes to myself. I head back over to my apartment, planning on watching T.V. Of course, that doesn't happen.

I'm reaching my apartment, my phone in hand, thinking about what I can say to Regina to apologize for everything I've done. I remember telling Dr. Hopper that I do better when I talk things out, and seeing as I'm the only one that knows about my feelings, I decide that I'm going to call Regina's house phone, considering she's not at the house, and talk it out with the answering machine. So I quickly call her home phone, and, just like I thought, I got the answering machine.

_Please leave a message after the beeeppp._

"Hey, Regina. I, uh, I just wanted to say sorry. You know. Cause I was really… mean and I, uh, UGH! This is bullshit!"

_Beepppp Message deleted. To rerecord message, press two._

_Please leave a message after the beeeppp._

"Regina! Hey! How's life going? Jesus, of course it sucks… God damnit, I don't know how to do this. FUCK!"

_Beepppp Message deleted. To rerecord message, press two._

_Please leave a message after the beeeppp._

"I'm sorry. Uh, I'm sorry I've been kinda a bitch and all. Umm, do you, I don't know, wanna see Henry, or me. Ugh! I sound so desperate! AHHHHH."

_Beepppp Message deleted. To rerecord message, press two._

_Please leave a message after the beeeppp._

"Gina! I feel terrible about everything, maybe you wanna go on a date and I can apologize properly? Wow… that sounded really… I'm not implying that I wanna get in your pants or anything. Oh Jesus, I'm sorry I'm so bad at this."

_Beepppp Message deleted. To rerecord message, press two._

_Please leave a message after the beeeppp._

"Okay, I honestly have nothing to say to you other than the fact that I'm so sorry I'm a bitch. And it's true. You're a fantastic mother, and I owe you forever because you loved and took care of Henry when I couldn't. And I can never repay you for that. God, I'm so glad that you can't hear this cause it's so humiliating. I know you hate me. I know you do; you don't have to pretend that you don't. And I deserve it. I took your son from you when he was never mine to take. And I'm sorry. Not to mention the things I said to you about you not being able to change. That was such bullshit. I know you probably believed me, but please don't. Don't ever listen to anything I say unless it's something about how amazing and beautiful you are. Or how much you actually mean to me. Because god damnit, I can't fucking take it anymore. Regina, I'm so in love with you it hurts. When you walk into a room it's like nobody else exists because you take up the whole room with your… well, just because you're you. You take up the whole damn room. And the worst part is that I know you'll never feel the same way, and it rips me to pieces when I think about it too long. No, not because it hurts my brain, but because it hurts my heart. I wish you'd look at me like I was the only one in the room and you didn't hate me. I just want you to be happy, whether that's with me or not. If you're happy without me, then I can live with it because you're happy. But, Regina, if you can't live without me either, please. Give me a chance. I know I'll never be able to take away all the things I've done and said and the sting and hurt and betrayal that came with all those words and things I did, but I swear on my life that I'll do everything I can until I die to make it up to you. AHHH You're never going to hear this! WHY AM I DOING THIS? IT'S JUST FUCKING WITH MY EMOTIONS!" I slap my phone closed and throw it at the wall, breaking it. _Better than the toaster…_

I throw myself on the couch, not even realizing the tears that have managed to sneak out until one's running down my face and into my ear. And that does it. I curl in on myself, thinking of how I've managed to screw everything up without even a few days. Fresh tears continue to well in my eyes as I think about everything that's happened recently. How everything's changed. How everyone's changed. I mean, I've barely been a daughter and now I'm going to be a sister. I roll my eyes at that and quickly wipe my eyes. I run to the bathroom and throw some cold water on my face, trying to keep the heat from my tears down. When I look back in the mirror, I look like nothing ever happened except for the minor red rims in my eyes. I sigh sadly at the mirror before turning around and heading back to the couch.

Yet, when I turn the corner out of the bathroom and toward the couch, I almost have a heart attack.

"Holy shit!" I slam a hand over my heart, trying to force it to calm down to it's regular beat, yet it doesn't. In fact, it keeps it's fast pace because, staring right at me with a tear streaked, angry face is none other than, "Regina! What… how the hell did you get in here?" She just stands and walks over to me, holding a phone in her hand.

"What the hell is this?" She rasps, looking at me with a mix of different emotions. She's an arms length away, and it makes my heart pound all that faster.

"A phone?" I offer a confused answer. She stalks closer to me and snarls in my face.

"Not the fucking phone. What's _on _the phone." She spits. I swallow, not really sure what she's getting at.

"Uh, numbers?" I offer weakly, shrugging my shoulders.

"Really, Miss Swan? I'm talking about why your voice goes on for a good five minutes on my receiver saying some bullshit about you confessing your _love _for me." I almost choke on the air around me, but I know my expression dropped at her mocking tone.

"I… I… Wait what?!" I screech. "You… I deleted it! I was just… I… No! You weren't supposed to actually hear that! Oh… Oh god. You heard… oh shit." I can feel the color drain from my face. Because I never clicked deleted the message, I just snapped it shut. Which automatically sends it to the voicemail. Oh… shit.

"No, Miss Swan, I would say you didn't delete it because it's now on my machine." She smiles a wicked smile that sends chills down my spine. I don't drop my eyes yet, but I can almost hear the cruel remarks she's about to make.

"Go on." I insist, my walls shooting straight up. "Do your best. Shoot me down. Tell me how stupid I am for ever expecting someone like you to even consider liking me, let alone loving me back." I sneer back, and I know I've taken her off guard, but I can't seem to stop, the mocking going on in my head making everything that much worse. "You think I don't know that I'm not near good enough for someone like you. That's why I didn't _say_ anything. You… you deserve so much more than me…"

"Miss Swan-"

"And you deserve for someone to make you happy. Someone that will look better on your shoulder, but also treat you with the utmost respect. Never do anything without asking you first because you'd be partners. And you've always hated me, and I know I deserve it, but I can't help up feel things for you that I've never felt for anyone. And when Cora tried to rip my heart out-"

"Cora did what?!"

"But she couldn't because I told her that love was strength, not weakness. And then some magic came out and blew her away, but the point is that I was thinking about you and Henry when I told her that, so I know she knew that I love you, and I think that's why she left you to finish me off when you went after me with your magic, though when I restrained you I wasn't trying to hurt you, I swear. I hope I didn't, and if I did, I'm so sorry. I would never hurt you on purpose… well, except for the things that I've said to you in the past, but I really didn't mean.."

"Miss Swan!"

"Anything I said. I really do think you're a fantastic mother, way better than I'll ever be. And I know Henry does love you because who _wouldn't_ want a mom like you? I mean honestly, I've never really had that great of foster parents, but if I got you for a foster mom, I'd be… well, it'd be weird considering I love you and all, but I'd be so happy. So I know Henry's just being a bit spoiled-"

"EMMA!" I blink in surprise at the use of my name. Blinking causes a few tears to escape, and that confuses me for a second, but I quickly raise my hands to wipe my eyes, completely embarrassed.

"Yeah?" I sniff. I watch her look me over, fear clear in her eyes. I swallow hard, looking for anything. I see fear, and, not anger, but betrayal is burned in her eyes. Surprising me, so is heartbreak. She's being cautious; she doesn't want to get hurt. But I also see excitement, hope, and, possibly, a little love. My breath starts picking up as a take a tentative step forward. She shakes her head, but doesn't try to stop me. So I reach out and wipe a tear off of her cheek with the pad of my thumb. She briefly leans into the contact, closing her eyes, until she snaps back. But I keep stepping until I'm in her personal space, looking her right in the eye.

"Please. Regina, give me one chance. Just for right now. Let me try to make you happy." Her eyes are almost pleading with me to do something. I lick my lips, but don't move forward.

"Don't hurt me." She whimpers, crushing our lips together with a sob. I wrap my arms around her as our tears mix with our lips. Her lips are everything I could have imagined; they're soft and taste faintly like peppermint and apples, a surprisingly addicting taste. One taste and I know I'm hooked.

She grabs at the back of my neck, pulling me closer as more tears leak from her eyes. I bring my hand up to cup her cheek, wrapping my fingertips closer to the back of her neck. She weaves her hands in my golden hair as our lips continue to move together. She grazes her tongue along my bottom lip, and I immediately open my mouth. Our tongues move together perfectly, soft and smoothly. I can't help the little groan that passes through my lips when her tongue moves over the roof of my mouth.

Air becomes necessary, but I move down her neck, placing wet, open-mouthed kisses all over her neck. I find her pulse point and begin to suck and nip at it, marking her neck. I want people to know that nobody can have Regina but me. I kiss back up to her ear and nibble on her earlobe. She moans, and its sends a shiver of delight down my spine. I smile against her ear.

"I can't promise you that I won't hurt you," I whisper to her, "but I can tell you that you won't get ride of me that easily. If I hurt you, it only adds to the list of things I will spend the rest of my life doing to make it up to you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

**A/N: Soooo... What'd you think? Anybody who wants to give me a prompt, PM me, I don't bite. :) You guys are awesome! Leave a review and I'll get that date one-shot up as soon as I can! :) Love you all!**

**~SwanQueen101**


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